Personal Growth

Depression: The Composition of Expectation, Failure, and Peace of Mind.

Depression is a silent aggressor. It causes an individual to be muddled by anxiety, anger, and fear— yes, if left untreated it can lead to some pretty dire consequences. Unemployment, relationship issues, a death in the family, growing stress, the list can continue to grow in complexity depending on your own personal view. If you happen to stumble onto this page, then either you or somebody you know is suffering from this condition. Here is a disclaimer: I am no psychiatrist or  doctor, I cannot prescribe you any medication or out-root your personal experiences and analyze them, however, I can offer you something better. I can offer you the perspective to help YOU discover your mental blockades and overcome them. I was once there and in all honesty, I think everyone has at one point. I was lucky enough to have a friend listen to me and offer me advice. Advice that I plan to share with you. Are you ready?

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Comprehend this: You aren’t special. Your anguish, your pain, your anger, your sadness can be understood by the everyone around you. Everyone has those feelings, its natural, its common. EVERYONE (and I mean everyone) has had some horrible, life changing event happen to them, if you only asked You’d know. Talk to people, they might offer you the insight you need to surpass this difficult period. It really helps to have someone listen to you. Your vices don’t offer you anything, self inflicted wounds, alcohol consumption, and sitting in the dark will not offer you solutions. Talk.

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Here is the key: Explain your story as many times as it takes for you to realize the root of your depression. Its a lot more difficult that it seems, your mind will begin to replay memories and alter details as you struggle to find out where things went wrong. You’ll try to find some fault in yourself, in others, or in your upbringing, its normal. After you had some teary eyed confessionals with those around you, talk to yourself. This is the most important. Can you tell yourself the same story you told others? You can try to lie, but only you know the truth.

Sit down and think. Talk aloud. Hear your voice. Talk to yourself. I want you to make sure it’s unrehearsed honesty. What is going on? Did your relationship fall apart because you focused too much on work? Are you heartbroken that He/She is with someone else?Is work so stressful that you lost your job and you can’t provide for those you care about? Is someone you love suffering from an illness? Did someone important pass away? Depression, from my experience, is usually sparked as a result of our interpersonal relationships. You’ll never have control over what anybody else does, but you do have power to change yourself.

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You first must break in order to make the decision to change.

Don’t have a job? Apply for one every single day until you find one, start off by the ones nearest you and slowly go further out. You are not a coward. Rejection is only a possibility for those who try. Try.

Is your job depressing you? Are you truly happy? Are you struggling? Ask for help from your peers. Solutions exist if you take the time to find the right people to talk to. Communication issues? Remember, every boss has a boss. Speak up. Your voice is as powerful as you believe.

Did someone leave you? Out of respect for the you of yesterday and the choices he or she made, cherish the moments you’ve had with your old flame. You chose to make those memories, do not insult your past decisions. Appreciate and move on. Remember: The only remedy  for love is to love some more. Henry David Thoreau everybody.

Did someone pass away? This one is hard, but those who have passed on will want you to be happy. If you ever need to talk to them or hold them, close your eyes and remember them. Concentrate. Remember their voice, their touch, their personality, their warmth. They live through you. Never forget that.

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It may sometimes feel like everybody’s solution to depression is to prescribe you some medication and in some cases that is what you need, a quick solution to a long lasting problem. However, if you are here reading this, then you chose to weather your struggle and overcome your demons. It isn’t easy being honest with yourself, it isn’t easy moving forward and making decisions, it simply isn’t. Yet, if it were easy would it ever be worth it?

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