Communication Lesson One: Understanding Who You Are

Communication is an essential part of our species survival. As social beings, we humans rely on our interactions to complete tasks, share information, and mate. It is crucial to us as individuals to sharpen and “perfect” our knowledge of communication to not only further our own interests, but to also help others further theirs. And who knows— You might just learn something.


Communication can take on a variety of forms, it can be written or vocally expressed but it can also be visual—body language and facial expressions play an important role in how information is perceived and understood. Ask one of your more enigmatic friends, coworkers, or family members and the one thing they will share with you is that there is an energy that you must be willing to transmit to captivate the hearts, minds, and opinions of others.

It should seemingly come without effort, but that isn’t always the case. So how does an individual transmit their particular type of energy? Why is it that some people can communicate better than others? They aren’t any smarter, any more unique, or more attractive than you, but somehow they are always at the center of social events. They are always the people you gravitate to. The main difference between the two of you is the approach.

Social Butterflies understand one thing. Themselves.

Understand who you are. 

The most noticeable trait that social butterflies possess is their confidence. Yes, that is the one simple truth that you will have to accept. Confidence. Say it. Relish it. Understand it. I will talk about ways to improve your confidence in a different post, but that isn’t the point of this one. Confidence and its associated assertiveness comes from one place only, your life experiences. So before you think you can simply try improvement techniques such as standing up straight, being well groomed, or speaking from the diaphragm then you are mistaken. Confidence stems from who you are as an individual, that means the summary of your life experiences, the perspectives you have developed, and the acceptance of your character flaws.

Let me remove any of your doubt. Accepting who you are does one thing and one thing only, it makes you more confident to speak your mind. Simple right? But isn’t that what confidence is? Being at peace with who you are? And isn’t perceived confidence the one thing that makes communication easier? Remember you want your energy to be genuine, if you lie to yourself about who you are and what you stand for, then people will avoid you. It takes a lot more effort to keep up a charade and it really prohibits you from saying what you mean. So take a deep breath and remind yourself that before you can influence anyone else, you must be able to influence yourself. Understand who you are. 


Ask yourself these questions to start your Journey.

  1.  Who am I?
  2.  Who raised me?
  3. How was my upbringing?
  4. Why do I think a certain way? Out of necessity? Out of logic? Out of emotion?
  5. What was the most important moment in my life? A love? A death? An Accident?
  6.  Who do I confide in? How are they similar to me? How are they different from me?
  7. Am I close minded? Am I too stubborn to listen to advice? Similarly, am I too mentally weak that peoples opinions influence my own?
  8. What are my underlying insecurities that I need to come to terms with? What am I truly afraid of?
  9. What abilities, skills, or talents do I take pride in?
  10. What three words define me and my character?

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