A Long Time Ago…
You probably had it all figured out. The life you were living was easy. It was planned for. It was tangible. Yet, recently you have lost touch with the voice inside your head. The driving force for all your actions has been diluted and you begin to follow the motions rather than propel them. We are all guilty of simply doing the bare minimum. Some students go to school in hopes of a better future, but they choose not to put the effort to learn. Similarly, a lover can make the effort to visit his significant other and still not be present in the relationship when he is with her. You can go to work and do the same menial tasks over and over before you realize you are no longer in control of the situation. It happens. Somewhere down the line, you get stuck.
In all honesty, we all suffer from this point of reality as we grow older. We no longer have our parents to guide us (or in some cases, their opinions are exactly that. Opinions.) nor do we have the social obligations from schooling requiring us to follow “the rules”. In short, there is a point where we aren’t told what to do or what to expect. It is this transition, that disillusions us from personal growth.
As we mature in experience, in emotion, and in ability we find ourselves questioning how we ended up here, in this moment in time. Most of you, for whatever reason, might have never experienced failure big enough to make you experience the anxiety, the heartache, or the physical decline of a life defining moment. The point is simple.
You will Have.
As we all struggle to make a name for ourselves, we get caught in the bitter reality of everyday life. Let’s be honest, the career you want is not going to be easy to get. You will have to study, persevere, and stand above the rest to make yourself known. In all honesty, you are not always going to be able to make a relationship work. It takes time, commitment, and effort from both sides to make a relationship stand strong. In reality, it will always be hard. The point is when do you realize where you stand? Is it now on your journey to success or is it later as your recover from your failures? As subjective as it might sound, You decide when you are ready. Shortly after a life defining moment there is an epiphany. Somewhere. The breakup you saw coming, the unexpected death of your closest friend, or the divorce of your parents can lead you to seek answers within yourself that you never thought possible. As you ride these emotional roller coasters of life, you begin to see the world more objectively and more coldly. Perhaps you’ll begin to realize that your perspective was someone else’s all along or you’ll begin to realize that your stubborn way of thinking caused you more harm than good.
The worst thing anybody can do is not take advantage of the perspectives from the people around them. I’m not talking about the ones you already know. I’m talking about the people you never thought about asking. I can already hear the discord. “You want me to discuss my feelings with random people? How does giving people information to use against me relevant?!”. Take a deep breath. Re-evaluate. How many people are really close to you? How many of them know exactly what you’ve been through? You have four? Good. More importantly, how many of these close friends can recall what you talked about? There is a big difference between just listening and being actively engaged in a conversation.
We all want to keep face and we choose not to discuss a lot of our issues, concerns, or fears with the people we trust the most. People will voice concerns for you until they realize you are no longer listening. I feel if I would have listened to my ex, my family, or my close friends more, I would have not experienced the emptiness I feel today. I have regrets. I really do. Everybody does. My divine judgement was my acknowledgement. I never bothered to listen to the people closest to me because I treated them like strangers. I was so busy trying to quickly ascend the social and economical ladder that I didn’t bother interacting with those I care most about. I lacked perspective and it poisoned my thinking. So here I am. After losing everything that I believed defined me, I was finally able to grow. So what about you? Where do you resonate? Do you accept the here and now and if so what do you plan to do next?
You want to change.
Here are some steps to get you started.
- Be aware about where you stand. In life, in love, in work, in society, and in your own head.
- Pay attention. Listen to others before you form your opinion. Bias is the death of opportunity.
- Improve. There is always room for improvement. Being aware of who you are and what you dislike is already the first step. Take a long look at everything. What is stealing your energy? What brings it back? What contributes to your personal growth? Is it your lover? Your family? Your dog? Your children? Your cup of coffee? Whatever it is. Know that your life is better for it. Always aim to improve your love, your kindness, and your perspective.